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Martin Erickson, licensed marriage and family therapist, said that college millennials have far too rosy views of marriage.“That’s a frustration,” he said, “and an impediment to having a good healthy marriage over the long run.” “Marriage has the potential to be really refining and call out your best sense of character, values and love, but it’s not going to automatically do something to make you good or special,” he said.

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“That first stage of dating is all about understanding the opposite sex, getting a sense of who they are,” said Erickson.

You’re just kind of following along in a passive way that won’t be healthy because that’s not what life is about.” Erickson continued, “It’s not good to think of marriage as a reward for righteous behavior.

I don’t think most good things in life, like having a child or getting a really good job, are rewards for righteous behavior in a reward/punishment scheme.

Relationships of all kinds take effort, work and dedication.

Marriage doesn’t instantly transform you into a perfect individual.

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